The Paper Chase:  If you're scoring at home -- or even if you're alone -- sharpen your pencil. The White House, now claiming it will not release documents related to the warrantless eavesdropping program... on the grounds that the executive branch has a right to receive confidential advice... While, at the same time, still refusing to comply with its own executive order regarding the safeguarding of classified documents... meant to apply to all entities within the executive branch.  In our fifth story on the Countdown... Something the White House might find more difficult to argue against: Congressional subpoenas.

Rudy Blames Bill:  Rudy Giuliani claims he knew that the 1993 attack on the World Trade Center was part of Osama Bin Laden's declaration of war on us...But then President Bill Clinton didn't see it.  Sheez, Rudy, maybe you couldn't mentioned it during those eight years between the attacks.

ODDBALL:  A Virgin Mary watermelon, a splodin' watermelon and some hanky panky on the links headline tonight's all star wacky video cavalcade.

The GOP Horserace:  It was one of the funniest videos on the internets this year. Will Ferrell, getting hassled for rent money by his foul-mouthed boozing landlady - Pearl.  The two year old daughter of Ferrell's comedy website collaborator Adam McKay.  Now in our third story on the Countdown - two months after Pearl debuted to the paranoid -- almost hallucinogenic -- cries of child exploitation by the likes of Bill Orally, she is back. And back for what is described as... her farewell performance. And back as... the ultimate bad cop.  The ultimate two-year old... bad cop.

TiVo Alert!  Much like Tony Blair hinting at retirement in 2005, making an official announcement in 2006, then finally actually stepping down today -- the release of the I-phone has been impending so long that it feels like it's already last year's technology.  But in our number two story on the Countdown -- the wait is finally... well nearly... over.  Apple's first cell-phone goes on sale this Friday.  And as our correspondent Jane Wells reports, people are already lining up for it.  Or at least, paying others to line up for them.  One caveat: I am not convinced that none of these people in line, are not shills of some sort.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD:  A FOX News trifecta vying for top honors tonight...you have to see this one to believe it.

Paris and the Sheriff:   The wheels of government turn slowly, particularly when the wrench thrown in them, is shaped like Paris Hilton.  In our number one story on the Countdown, the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors was trying, yesterday, to address an inner city hospital so beleaguered, a patient died in it's Emergency Room lobby last month.  The Board eventually got around to its health care crisis, but not before facing Sheriff Lee Bocka... to find out why he initially released Ms. Hilton after just a few days in jail.  Meantime, Ms. Hilton has now described that jail-cell meltdown...