Rudy Cheating on Your Dime?:   In a radio ad the Rudolph Giuliani campaign started running last month in Iowa the former Mayor of New York says, quote: "I have no question I can do the same thing for Washington that I did for New York City."  In our fifth story on the Countdown, if he's talking about what he did for the residents of New York City, that would mean, President Giuliani could be expected to bill obscure federal agencies for security expenses incurred on weekend getaways with a mistress ... maybe even provide a secret service driver and car for his latest paramour. If he means he can do the same thing for Washington that he did for Judith Nathan specifically... well, you know where I'm going with that. Your tax dollars in action.

John Edwards Live: Attacked by name in the Republican debate by Willard "Mitt" Romney... Senator John Edwards' stock among Democrats, and certainly his sense of pride, must have moved ever so slightly... He'll join us from the Presidential campaign trail in Iowa.

ODDBALL: Robots and holiday hairdos galore...this rules!

Disaster Capitalism: The U-S and Iraq this week announced a broad framework for long-term relations between the two nations... the Associated Press reporting this involves a sustained U-S presence in Iraq... and preferential treatment to American investments. You know -- a treaty, only don't call it that, and nobody in the Senate gets the chance to not ratify it. Or to ask: why would Iraq give up a prize like that... preference to American investments... in return for a military presence the U-S supposedly needs for its own security, anyway? In our third story tonight, a new book says the answer may lie... in Chile.

Tabby Time: Our number two story tonight, Keeping Tabs, beginning with celebrities armed with buckshot in Texas.  Someone besides Dick Cheney. What you're about to see is a standoff near Lubbock last month between Texas Tech Basketball coach Bob "Don't Call Me Bobby" Knight -- for nearly five decades the leading American distributor of temper tantrums -- and a neighbor named James Simpson who confronted Knight and a hunting companion about shooting doves too close to his home.  The video, courtesy of the Dallas Morning News, is fuzzy but then again, so is Knight's sophistry.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Billo, Pat Robertson and John Mccain vie for tonight's top honors.

Paris of the Jungle: There are those who must face the elephant in the room...And then there are those who must confront the story that they are helping the drunken elephants in the room. That's what Paris Hilton recently did... after having redd the news that concerned her the most...News about... Paris Hilton. But in our number one story on the Countdown, even that far exceeds the reading list of Britney Spears, evidently... who raced wildly through a Barnes and Noble... so she could get a cup of coffee.

CNN is taking a lot of flak today for their lack of disclosure on one of the questioners in last night's debate...and perhaps deservedly so. In fact, more is coming out about some of the other YouTube submissions that made air...and it appears there are more Democratic leaning questionners than just the retired general. Of course, the smear machines (Malkin/Limbaugh etc.) will whip themselves into a frenzy over this...and they'll completely avoid the issues brought up, and the questions raised (Andrew Sullivan cut through the CNN gaffe(s) to talk about the issues on his blog). It just proves Marshall Mcluhan right again, the medium is the message. 

Terror Ties: It is a startling and potentially ruinous revelation for Rudolph Giuliani. Our fifth story on the Countdown -- there are countless what-ifs about 9/11. Hundreds of events, maybe thousands of lives, any one of which, if just altered slightly, might have pre-empted the attacks. But this one involves a man identified tonight, as a close business associate of Mr. Giuliani's....A man accused of having harbored in, then helped 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammad escape from the Gulf nation of Qatr... hours before the arrival of an FBI arrest team.

Beneath Blackwater:  The claim that killing people is part of the Blackwater marketing strategy... And that at least a quarter of the company's mercenaries in Iraq are taking steroids or other judgement altering drugs...The president of the group representing survivors of the Blackwater Massacre in a lawsuit, joins Keith.

ODDBALL: A pigeon and a falcon get funky, a crazy jeep flies away, and an update on the story of a boy and his snake.

Firefighters and the FBI:  In Ray Bradbury's vision of a future America, "Firemen" are sent into people's homes to hunt down illegal materials -- namely books -- and destroy them. Hence his choice of the name of his novel - Fahrenheit 451 - the temperature at which paper burns. Our third story on the Countdown, 54 years after that book about anti-intellectualism was published, a disturbing parallel initiated by the Bush Administration. Not in some future America, but right now, here, today.

Tabby Time: Did Marie Osmond really fake that dive in Dancin with the Stars?  Don't care?  We'll explain. 

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD:  E.D Hill of Fox Noise, John Ashcroft and the republican party of Virginia vie for tonight's top honors.

The Truth about Britney:   The logical fallacy insists that just because Event A preceded Event B, it does not mean Event A caused Event B. Nevertheless. Two Britney Spears stories tonight -- at least one of them, half-baked. That she was caught trying on lingerie in public...And that she's pregnant. Again, not necessarily a sequence of events -- but what the heck. Our Number One story on the Countdown: Ewwwww, you did it again

First of all, youtube shmootube...you better darn well believe CNN won't allow a question on this story in the Village Voice with any of their fancy interweb questions.  We'll have the article's author, Wayne Barrett, to discuss.

We'll have more on the Blackwater in Iraq fiasco...the story that alleges the FBI used NYC firefighters as spies...and the one and only Joel McHale will break down the news (yeah, we know) that Brit Brit is preggers again!  

Mis-speaking and Missed Peace: Mispronunciations and faux pas are not the exclusive province of the Dummy. Two-time presidential candidate, intellectual, UN Ambassador, Adlai Stevenson, once told the world body that under Fidel Castro, human rights in Cuba, quote, "have been circumsized." He meant... circum-scribed. But in our fifth story on the Countdown: Everybody screws up words. This, however, is getting ridiculous. During his cameo at the Israeli-Palestinian conference in Maryland today, the President had less luck with the names of the participants than Czech president Vaclav Havel did with Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa in 1998.

Shh...it's a Secret: The Senate -- trying tonight to reign-in Bush Administration abuse of "The State Secrets." How? Well, it's a secret.

ODDBALL: The turkey in the drive thru mystery thickens, and a truck goes in the big drink.

U.S.OH NO HE DIDN'T!:  The only thing more offensive than slamming the folks who are trying to support the troops... is to have one of them on your show and slam him in person. Thus, in our third story on the Countdown, the Frank Burns of news... Bill O'Reilly... did. Attacking the USO, again. And suggesting, that one celebrity who should definitely be allowed to entertain the troops... is the conservative radio host Dr. Laura Schlessinger... even though she has bad-mouthed wives of the troops.

Babs Goes For Hillary:  Our number two story tonight.. Not dancing with the stars, but voting with them..  Keeping Tabs on celebrity endorsements...Oprah had already come out for Obama... Chuck Norris for Mike Huckabee... Robert Duvall backing Rudy Giuliani..

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD:  Mr. Peter Perweiler, you'll have to watch to find out who he is, FEMA and Mitt Romney vie for tonight's top honors.

Norman Lloyd:  And to our number one story on the Countdown, and a few simple facts. Somewhere in the English-speaking world, right now, it is happening. A kid of about 11 or 12, maybe younger, maybe older, is watching, for the first time, an episode of "Alfred Hitchcock Presents." He will be shortly be simultaneously scared out of his mind -- in a way no slasher movie could cause -- and also impressed. He will want to know: who are the people who did this to him? He will watch the credits and see a name -- listed as actor, or director, or Associate Producer, or Executive Producer. Norman Lloyd. Somewhere else, somebody is seeing the under-appreciated Hitchcock classic "Saboteur" for the first time, and be amazed by the just-crazy-enough title character, and watch the credits and see the actor's name. Norman Lloyd. Keith's guest tonight?  Norman Lloyd. 

First this weeks news that Oprah Winfrey would stump for Obama (after endorsing him some time ago) now comes word from the Clinton camp that they've netted another big name celebrity endorsement. It's not a surprise (Streisand has been an F.O.B. for a long time) but would you like to see an Oprah/Barbra debate? Did the Clinton Campaign time this to steal back the major celebrity endorsement headlines?  Will Celine Dion endorse Joe Biden? 

A Treaty by any Other Name: The Bush Administration has just erased another part of your Constitution. Signing a treaty to keep this country in Iraq permanently. Although, by not calling it a treaty, this Administration of Loophole-ologists, managing to bypass Senate ratification. The "long, hard slog" of any pretense that the Bush Administration ever intended to leave Iraq is finally over tonight.

Lott Done: There may be a last minute hitch in the resignation of Senate Minority Whip Trent Lott so he can become a lobbyist before the laws change on how quickly ex-Senators can become lobbyists.

ODDBALL: A mid-game bite from a police dog to a football player and a foul-mouthed German Santa. Happy Holidays.

The Horserace:  That Senator Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign has made a tactical shift or two in Iowa can no longer be disputed. The campaign this afternoon took another swipe at Barack Obama in a manner pretty much not seen until the gentleman from Illinois pulled pretty much even with the gentle-lady from New York. Clinton demanding a series of answers from Obama about campaign financing and the Washington Post's report that he's been using his own Political Action Committee "Hopefund" to get money to Democratic groups and candidates in the early-voting states.

All Keith, All Channels:  We had a kind of television harmonic convergence last night. In the Eastern and Central time zones, Keith was on two of the four broadcast networks simultaneously. "Football Night In America" on NBC. "The Simpsons" on Fox. And, just for good measure, they then replayed the bit part he did on "Family Guy" on Fox.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: John Gibson of Fox Noise, St. Rudy of 9/11 and the New York Post of Rupert Murdoch all vying for top honors. 

The Odd Couple: Bush and Gore doesn't always mean what first comes to mind. Football? Two of the underperforming running backs in the NFL this year: Reggie Bush and Frank Gore. Foot-wear? The Nunn-Bush slip-on shoe with an elastic gore (the technical term for a widener in the fabric). Australia? The Gore Cove Bush-land Reserve. But nevertheless, none of those Bush/Gore combos is ever likely to supplant ours. Thus the fascination with an unlikely photo-op re-union today.

In case you missed it...the Huffington Post has video of Keith's cameo on the Simpsons from last night.

Scott or Not:  The latest mutation of the vitally important question forced by ex-White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan's book excerpt... If he insists he isn't saying President Bush lied to him about the outing of Valerie Plame... But sticks by his statement that the President was quote "involved" in the lie... What exactly did the President do? Hand him a sealed envelope? Our fifth story on the Countdown: four years later and still nobody in the White House has the story straight. We'll get Ambassador Joe Wilson's joins us.

Billo vs. the USO:  The Pentagon says a letter to a wounded vet demanding he return some of his military recruitment signing bonus... was a mistake. The USO says Bill O'Reilly's slap at the number and quality of the celebrities it sent to Afghanistan... was also a mistake. Heck -- they've sent Al Franken.
ODDBALL: VA Gov. gets some deer, the Munchkins get a star and a turkey eats one last time.

Push it Real Good: The campaign of Willard Mitt Romney is learning an important lesson in national politics today... when you refer reporters to primary sources for a story... it's a good idea to mention whether those sources... are on the campaign payroll. In our third story tonight, payroll questions plague both Romney and his rival, Rudolph Giuliani. Mr. Romney first...

Tabby Time: Marie Osmond - who is rapidly becoming the Sanjaya of "Dancing with the Stars" - topping our number two story on the Countdown tonight - Keeping Tabs.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD:  Kellyanne Conway, Boone Pickens and Fox News co-host John Gibson vie for tonight's top honors.

Tofurkey:  It is, in its way, as startling as the revelation of who Deep Throat was... Or the Abraham Lincoln Association's conclusion that the man probably never did say "You can fool all of the people some of the time..." Our number one story on the Countdown: that 60-year "tradition" of the President "pardoning" a turkey just before Thanksgiving? It's nearly 100 percent... Cranberry Sauce.

Rewriting History:  Scott McClellan today not only accused the President of the United States -- and the Vice President -- and Karl Rove -- of being quote "involved" un-quote in lying to the American public about who outed C-I-A operative Valerie Plame... He also, by implication, accused the President of the United States of commuting the sentence of Scooter Libby, even though some of Libby's lies to the Grand Jury were lies in which Mr. Bush was quote "involved." Our fifth story on the Countdown: His publishers releasing the briefest of excerpts from McClellan's upcoming book, but those 121 words portray President Bush as, at best, a passively-involved, liar-in-chief.
 
Ooh, Alberto:  The good news for the White House tonight: at least Alberto Gonzales hasn't written a memoir yet. As such, no McClellan-esque bombshells from him for the time being. The bad news -- in our fourth story -- The McClellan political fallout. Along with what overnight became the almost comic relief... The former White House Counsel turned Attorney General is making public appearances... at which the public is turning against him.

ODDBALL: A deer in the headlights, a dancing burglar and a model goes down on the slopes.

Reality on the Ground: Two years and three days since Jack Murtha stepped before a news conference on Capitol Hill and eviscerated the Bush Administration over the war in Iraq. Two years and three days since his comments that inspired Congresswoman Jean Schmidt of Ohio to call him a coward... and other Republicans to figuratively try to stone him to death... and to their shock, to watch as the stones bounced back and ultimately cost them the election a year later. Our third story on the Countdown: 3875 Americans now dead in Iraq -- two more today, in a helicopter lost near Baghdad -- roughly 1800 of them since Congressman Murtha drew his line in the sand. And today Murtha decided another line needed drawing.

Tabby Time! An apparent medical mistake at one of the most famous hospitals for the stars leading off our number two story tonight... Keeping Tabs. The newborn twins of actor Dennis Quaid and his wife Kimberly Buffington are fighting for their lives at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in L-A... listed in stable condition.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: The Pentagon's SEB Bonus Division, Glenn Beck and the bug man Tom Delay vie for tonight's top honors.

No Turkey Left Behind:  President Bush has completed his annual commuting of the sentences of the turkeys. I know, I know -- you thought he'd done that on July 2nd with Lewis "Scooter" Libby -- but you and I are being not metaphoric here but literal. Our number one story on the Countdown: Humor, politics and the feeling that inside every politician is a stand-up comic yearning to be free.

Last week the Romney campaign cried foul when they found out that there was push polling going on that might adversely affect their campaign. This week they're crying foul because some are implicating the Romney Campaign of push polling themselves. Not sure how this is going to turn out, but if it goes the wrong way for Mitt, this could be trouble.  A reader of TPM wonders out loud.

Barack Obama gave a little glimpse into his life as a school age under achiever as he took questions at a Manchester, New Hampshire High School. When asked what his high school/college experience was like, he responded:

"I will confess to you that I was kind of a good off in high school as my mom reminded me. I went to high school in Hawaii, so there's a lot of opportunity to goof off because the weather is really good all the time. I did well in school but I didn't really apply myself. I did what I needed to, to get into college and it came fairly easily to me, but I never worked as hard as I should have. I was big on bball, I was a bball player, we were state champs. I thought I was better than I was. But I just loved the game and I played bball a lot. I thought about girls a lot. " you know I I made some bad decisions….You know, got into drinking and experimenting with drugs, there was a whole stretch of time whee I didn't apply myself. It wasn't until I got out of college - er, got out of high school, and went to college that I started realizing man I wasted a lot of time. "

He then goes on to outline how he found his calling in life, and did a 180 in college. This from the guy who is trying to separate himself generationally from Sen. Clinton and who was courting the folks on the Google Campus last week. Is Obama's candor about 'goofing off' in his youth another attemp to make inroads with younger voters? We're sure a lot of bios of the people he's trying to reach read about the same.

The full Obama text after the jump.

Question:

Give us a human side, when you went to high school what was your favorite subject, what subject did you struggle in, what clubs and rogs (??) did you belong to, did you do sports and what did you do when you were hanging out with your buddies?

Answer:

I will confess to you that I was kind of a good off in high school as my mom reminded me. I went to high school in Hawaii, so there's a lot of opportunity to goof off because the weather is really good all the time. I did well in school but I didn't really apply myself. I did what I needed to, to get into college and it came fairly easily to me, but I never worked as hard as I should have. I was big on bball, I was a bball player, we were state champs. I thought I was better than I was. But I just loved the game and I played bball a lot. I thought about girls a lot. " you know I I made some bad decisions….You know, got into drinking and experimenting with drugs, there was a whole stretch of time whee I didn't apply myself. It wasn't until I got out of college - er, got out of high school, and went to college that I started realizing man I wasted a lot of time.

When I started college I started noticing, why some places poor others rich, why is it that we spend all this money on our military but we don't spend it on our schools, why is it that women aren't always treated the same as men…a lot of questions that started bbbling up in my mind. I realized if I had spent a little more time reading, and studying that I could actually have some influence in the world, so I did a lot of catching up when I got to college. By the time I was a Junior and Senior, in college I got real serious in fact I was so serious my mother told me to lighten up. Fortunatly over time I got a little blance.

The ever escalating feud between Bill O'Reilly and Dallas Maverick's owner Mark Cuban was ratcheted up a notch this weekend with this blog by Cuban himself. In it he details how he was able call Fox News to advertise for his movie 'Redacted' on Bill O'Reilly's show (this is the movie that O'Reilly have railed against for the past few weeks because he believes it is anti-American).  Fox News gladly took Cuban's money and showed the ad specifically during the 8pm hour in an O'Reilly commercial break. The video is posted here.

In The Line of Firings:  Saint Rudy of 9/11 may have just had his Ascendance handed to him. Our fifth story on the Countdown: it was the 9/11 Commission... Rudy Giuliani was even sarcastically identified today by the usually boot-licking New York Post as "Mr. 9/11"... yet today, the Republican co-chair of this nation's official investigation into the nightmares of the 2001 terror attacks endorsed for his party's presidential nomination, not Rudy Giuliani but John McCain... And because, he says, McCain has helped keep us safe -- not Giuliani.

Obama Pulls Ahead:  Barack Obama gets into a fight with Hilary Clinton -- over something written by Robert Novak. And in the fight as gauged by the pollsters in Iowa -- he gets ahead of her.

ODDBALL: Santa gets stuck and the crappiest restaurant in the world.  Literally.

Buzzy and Cookie's Great Adventure:  A federal grand Jury in D-C has reportedly just opened up a criminal investigation into the shooting deaths of 17 Iraqi citizens by Blackwater mercenaries in September. While in our third story on the Countdown, the man in charge of overseeing contractors like Blackwater for the State Department is now asking congress to stop investigating his own family connections with Blackwater...For the sake of his family.

Tabby Time:  Michael Vick surrendered to U-S marshals today... in our number two story on the Countdown, Keeping Tabs. And the former Atlanta Falcons quarterback will remain in jail until his sentencing for federal dogfighting conspiracy charges.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD:  One of the right wing smear machine's websites, Fran Townsend and Hugo Chavez vie for tonight's top honors.

Idol Chatter:  Who really knows what's become of the music industry... now that "American Idol" alumni have racked up another round of awards. But our "American Idol" princess, Maria Milito, will join me presently -- right here -- to insist on "Idol" authenticity, no doubt. In our number one story on the Countdown... the fourth-place loser from season-five of "Idol" -- Chris Daughtry -- won three American Music awards last night. The season-four winner, Carrie Underwood, won three awards as well...

and oh yeah...Keith's Simpson's character art is unveiled tonight.  It's cool.

It has long been assumed that Rudy Giuliani would be the presidential candidate best able to make hay out of being associated with the terror attacks of 9/11 (and if you don't think he's running on 9/11, this will change your mind).  Well, now he has some company. 

Also tonight...Barack Obama makes a big deal out of the alleged dirt on him in the  Robert Novak column.  We'll give you the real story on what's going on here.

Plus, the Buzzy Cookie Krongard takes another twist...find out why the brothers are in another jam.

And finally, we're sorry we didn't post on Friday evening, but this story and this campaign ad  ought to make up for it. 

Fox & Friend:  As the full extent of the relationship between Rudolph Giuliani and the firm that owns Fox News is slowly being revealed, layer by layer, like a rotting onion... Another long-suspected belief about a different holding in the Murdoch media empire has finally been confirmed. Our fifth story on the Countdown: Day three of the Judith Reegan lawsuit... bringing us the best nugget yet from her filing with the court.  On page 21, for those of you who'd like to read along at home:

Broken Government: If the Majority Leader has to call the Senate to meet over Thanksgiving to prevent White House "Recess Appointments"... it is broken, indeed. John Dean joins us.

ODDBALL: bathing in booze and snow plow lessons in DC

Bonds Indicted: Lance Williams of the SF Chronicle who broke the story is Keith's guest.

Reunited:  The Walter Reed Army Institute of Research confirming what psychiatrists could've told you... Not only does the stress and depression of war not magically go away the day a soldier gets home... but it often gets worse, weeks and months after the return. At the six-month mark, the research they published in the American Medical Association Journal suggests, the number of soldiers referred for mental health care is nearly three times as high as the day they got home. But in our number two story, that they can get home is still almost always a miracle... for the soldiers... and the families.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Santa haters in Australia, the comedian, and  Michael Aguirre, City Attorney for San Diego, California

The Bridge Women: see previous post...you gotta love these women. 

The shoe has finlly dropped and Barry Bonds has officially been indicted on perjury and obstruction of justice charges. We'll have Lance Williams of the San Francisco Chronicle, and author of "Game of Shadows" who broke the Bonds story way back when. So many questions to answer...did Bonds' trainer flip on him?  Will Bonds go to the cooler (he faces 30 years)? Tune in...

Not only have we got more juicy details in the Rudy-Judi-Rupert-Roger-Bernie-Fox News-White House scandal...

Not only do we have more on the Buzzy and Cookie Krongard mess...

Not only do we have all the latest on Harry Reid's attempt to block recess appointments by fielding a team of Senators during the Thanksgiving recess...

But was also have the ladies pictured above, fresh off their big New York Times story.  It's a been a Dixie Chick-like experience for the gals, and they'll share all of it with Keith. It's a real hum dinger of a show tonight, folks.

Click the can of cranberry sauce to find out which candidate most people want sitting next to them this Thanksgiving.

Rudy Can't Fail:  This is Wednesday, November 14th... 356 Days until the 2008 Presidential Election. At which time apparently -- if Fox News has anything to say about the outcome -- Rudolph Giuliani will be the next president of the United States. Our fifth story on the Countdown: That Fox Noise Channel would be pulling for the Republican nominee -- whomever that will be -- was a given.  That executives at the News Corporation have allegedly been working to suborn perjury to protect the candidacy of one individual -- Mister Giuliani, a close friend of Roger Ailes, the head of Fox News -- would be monumentally inappropriate... Even for Fox.  David Shuster, and Giuliani biographer Wayne Barrett, join us.

'08 Madness:  John McCain is asked how to beat, quote, "the bitch" -- McCain **laughs** and calls it an excellent question. Giuliani slips to third in Iowa...if you've been a casual observer of decision 2008 until now, it's time to start tuning in.

ODDBALL: The blue ghost at an Ohio gas station, and the dark side of the earth...the best pics of our planet you may ever see.

The Blackwater Fiasco:  This morning, the New York Times reported that the F-B-I believes Blackwater mercenaries were unjustified, and violating security guidelines... when they shot and killed 14 Iraqis in Baghdad this September. But our third story tonight... the day's other Blackwater news may shed light on how Blackwater got into Iraq... and gets to stay there. It began at a House hearing today... about the State Department's ethics watchdog... Inspector General Howard Krongard

A Bridge Too Far?   We look back at "Freedom Fries" with the same mix of horror and humor with which our grandparents looked back at calling the Cincinnati Reds, the "Redlegs" during the Cold War, or sauerkraut, "Victory Cabbage," during World War One. There is, however, less laughter, when we think back to the attacks on the group "Dixie Chicks" for merely explaining to a foreign audience that though they were from Texas, they did not support President Bush, and were, in fact, ashamed of him. The lack of any humor may owe, in part, to the stark fact that many in this country are still being punished for the mildest of dissent against a government that long ago chose "might" over "right." Our number two story -- as ludicrous as it sounds -- America's top international contract bridge team -- bridge, as in the card game -- faces a one-year suspension for holding up a small sign saying for whom they did not vote.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: the office of Homeland Security, Brent Bozell and  DeRoy Murdock

The Blonde Leading the Blonde:  You have to wonder if Britney Spears is actually looking forward to the next -- looming -- hearing on the custody of her kids. A wry smile planted on her face, because this time she has hard evidence of her own parenting skills. In our number one story on the Countdown... She has -- in fact -- given parenting advice... With the recipient of Spears' sage counsel, expressing her sincere gratitude.

My Way Or The Highway:  Judith Regan, the high-profile book publisher and editor, suing Rupert Murdoch's News-Corp, and claiming one of NewsCorp's executives wanted her to lie about her affair with Bernard Kerik, to federal investigators who were vetting Kerik, in order to protect the presidential aspirations of Kerik's benefactor, Rudy Giuliani. An allegation that News-Corp tried to suborn perjury to benefit Giuliani... and that there is evidence to prove that. There are few details... but we'll bring you more of them, and some reaction, in a moment. But in our fifth story on the Countdown: Regan is seeking a hundred million dollars in damages from the Murdoch empire... That is a sneeze compared to the startling revelation tonight about what the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are really costing this nation. The new estimate -- the low estimate -- begins at one and a half trillion dollars. Yet despite that, in Indiana this morning, President Bush had the gall to demand an additional 200-Billion for the conflicts from Democrats in Congress... after criticizing them for wasteful spending.

Mukasey at the Bat: In his third day on the job, the new Attorney General startles his critics and probably the President...Enabling the resumption of the stalled Justice Department investigation into who broke what laws when the Administration illegaly wiretapped Americans.

ODDBALL: The greatest oddball of all time....this isn't.  But, when a guy marries a dog and monkey spit coffee hits the market...who else has the GUTS to cover it?

Falafel Guy Fatwa: Mark Cuban -- owner of basketball's Dallas Mavericks, internet billionaire, movie financier, and television network owner -- "might have been incarcerated" by a different American president... at least, that's the latest eruption from Mount Saint O'Reilly, in the No-Sin Zone. Our Third story on the Countdown: is Billo implying Cuban should be locked up for backing Brian DePalma's film "Redacted" -- or is he implying it because Cuban had the nerve to criticize O'Reilly? Mark Cuban gives us his reaction, and his dramatic challenge to Billo, presently. And we'll give you a little explanation, courtesy another Countdown translation of O'Reilly's cocktail courage and dinner table heroism.

Cuban Strikes Back:  Mark Cuban's challenge to Bill O'Reilly. This coming after Billo's latest wild charge that because he financed the Brian DePalma film "Redacted," Cuban is "anti-American" and "might have (been) incarcerated" by President Roosevelt during World War 2. In a moment, we'll explore this O'Reilly fetish -- that he can get people thrown in jail if he just yells loudly enough, based on some sort of historical precedent involving FDR.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Congressman Thad McCotter, Brent Bozell, and Keith Olbermann makes an appearance on the list for something you bloggers helped alert us to.  You don't want to miss this one.

The Paris Connection:  Paris Hilton might have been on a roll. Just days after a scientific study showing that a cardboard cutout of her image reduces pain in male mice... There appeared, on Yahoo News, and on 289 different Google News sources, even on MSN.com... The report that she was taking up the cause of... drunken elephants in India. Though it broke our hearts to be so cynical, it seemed too good to be true. In our number one story on the Countdown: indeed, it was. The Associated Press tonight killed the story, after Hilton's publicist told us it was absolutely false. So the drunken elephants -- if they ever do make it into rehab -- won't have Ms. Hilton to thank for it. 

Click the pic for the story.

Veteran's Day:  It is the most solemn and ceremonial of remembrances for our fallen dead and surviving soldiers, dating from the time of our first grim venture into international combat in World War One, the beginning of our role as, if not the policemen of the world, then rather its moral force. The ceremonial laying of the wreath at the tomb of the unknown soldier at Arlington National Ceremony on Veterans' Day. And where was the President of the United States? In Waco, Texas. Our fifth story on the Countdown: the Commander in Chief who has sent our troops to their deaths on nonsense intelligence throughout a presidency of loopholes, who has described his own grief at the soldiers' suffering so much he has made a brand name out of it, who has exploited every wound as an opportunity to sell his agenda of fear and his politics of hate...He couldn't be bothered to lay the wreath on Veterans' Day. Why does George W. Bush hate the troops?

You Say Dubai, I say Hello:  That FEMA news conference last month -- featuring answers from FEMA, to questions from FEMA -- was rightly ripped, even by the head of Homeland Security. So what happens now that the Clinton campaign has acknowledging planting two questions for their candidate at Iowa events?

ODDBALL: A loose roo, the French and German foreign minister sing, and the tallest guy in America is crowned

Ghost Flights:  A mind-numbing, tear your hair out story from England tonight. And from about a dozen different angles. You're an airplane passenger? You've been hit by a gas surcharge? You've had to pay through the nose for a seat? Watch this -- and you're gonna wanna punch somebody. You're an aviation safety expert? You're terrified at the ballooning number of planes in the sky, which traffic controllers have to try to keep from plowing into each other?  Watch this -- and you're gonna wanna punch somebody.  You're aware of global warming or just of pollution? You keep hearing the major international carriers claim they're going to reduce emissions? Watch this -- and you're gonna wanna punch somebody. Our third story on the Countdown:  Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a British Airways plane crossing the Atlantic... with nobody on board. From our affiliated British network ITV we bring you the revelations of so-called ghost flights, by correspondent Mark Eddo...With one final warning....watch this -- and you're gonna wanna punch somebody.

Tame Tom:  Tom Bruise... or rather Cruise... leading our number two story, Keeping Tabs. His latest star turn raising questions about whether his star power has been wounded.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Delay, Huckabee and Limbaugh vie for tonight's top honors.

Fox Gone Wild:  Bill O'Reilly's words often require translation. So "culture warrior" turns into "smut peddler"... just as fast as you can say "great video".  And in our number one story on the Countdown, it isn't just Bill-o showing soft-core porn while railing against soft-core porn. It's the entire Fixed Noise establishment. The latest recorded example -- 4:24 P-M Eastern Standard Time, today. And film-maker Robert Greenwald (who will join us)... has documented a telling slice of it in his four-minute video production. "Family Values"... as seen in the Alice-Through-The-Looking-Glass kaleidoscope that is, Fox News.

Deja Vu All Over Again:  I'mThe Writers' Strike isn't affecting the White House, but you might not know it to look at the fight going on behind- the- scenes over Irahn's nuclear program... because the Bush administration seems to be running repeats. Our fifth story on the Countdown: New charges that the administration is picking , choosing and redacting Intelligence now... The same way it is thought to have DONE SO in the run-up to the war with Iraq.

:  His former commissioner of police and nominee for Homeland Security Director just been indicted on 16 counts... including fraud and conspiracy. But how much will the Kerik connection hurt Rudy Giuliani's bid for the White House?

ODDBALL: A principal busted for prostitution, a woman hides from robbers in a coke machine and spiderman bartender guy.

Green is Universal:  Continuing NBC's "Green is Universal" week in our third story on the Countdown.In a moment, the looming environmental catastrophe at the North Pole. But first - the effect we are having on our Oceans. Beginning with the biggest oil spill on the California coast since 1988.

TiVo Alert!  He's the man who gave us unforgettable moments of stage and cinema.. Sitting around a campfire, eating beans.. Bialystock and Blume on Broadway.. And those immortal words: "S'cuse me while i whip this out." Number two in the countdown.. the amazing Mel Brooks is back on Broadway and schmoozing with NBC's Brian Williams. Brooks' new musical, Young Frankenstyne or is that Frankensteen?!?!

Missing the Punchline:  To our number one story on the Countdown... Day number five of the writer's strike... and the fifth day of presidential candidates getting a pass. With Jay Leno and David Letterman and Jon Stewart in re-runs... targets like Rudy Giuliani and Hillary Clinton are escaping the STING of verbal jabs.

Pimp My Override:  It's 362 days until the 2008 Presidential Election and 2,483 days, since George W. Bush assumed the Presidency.  And it is the first day in which it was actually proven to him that Congress has the right to override his veto. It was not about Iraq and not about water-boarding, just water. But that doesn't mean those who see symbolism in it, are all wet.

Broken Government:  Aqua Dots are a kid's toy with an adhesive on them. And if one of the dots is swallowed, the adhesive turns into GHB, the date rape drug. Just a coincidence that this happens after the President appoints a corporate lawyer and lobbyist to run the Consumer Product Safety Commission?

ODDBALL: Ladies in Lingerie at a hot hot hot coffee shop, a $1,000 Bagel and a $25,000 dessert.  That tastes like frozen hot chocolate. Totally worth it. 

The '08 Horserace: Forty years ago, the Summer of Love was over. Even the Indian Summer of Love was pretty much done. But the sixties live on in the presidential pre-campaign of 2007; roaring back in comments Senator Barack Obama made yesterday.

Familiar Sight: Back to the birth of modern cable culture news. O-J Simpson in court. Today the beginning of hearings to decide if he should be tried for what the Las Vegas Sun is calling a 'cartoon caper'. Almost comical, if the charges weren't so serious.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD:  Billo, Fox Noise in general, Kathleen Willey and Melanie Morgan in the running tonight. All about Rosie O'Donnell, and an amazingly stupid story about an alleged contract hit on two cats.

Healing is Hot: Louis Pasteur, Niels Bohr, Gregor Mendel and Albert Einstein are all great names in the field of science and all made epic contributions to the world as we know it. Tonight, that roll of scientific greats is joined by another. Countdown salutes science's latest immortal contributor: Paris Whitney Hilton. No, she didn't map the human genome or cure any disease. Paris Hilton made a mouse's fanny feel better.