Final 4:  It was at this exact stage of the 2004 Presidential Election that an Osama Bin Laden video conveniently turned up, four days before Mr. Bush's reelection. Our fifth story on the Countdown: the only "October Video Surprise" as of the trick-or-treat hour... a very scary tape of former Bush-41 Secretary of State Lawrence Eagleburger retracting a swipe he took at Sarah Palin. Oh... there was Barack Obama's October Video Surprise -- his new commercials... in Arizona.

The Problem with Palin:  It may be the least original putdown of the last 40 years: Every time I look at him/her/it, I wonder: is a McDonald's somewhere missing an employee. In our fourth story on the Countdown: it mutates into the Presidential race today. By a Republican...About another Republican.

Voting on Demand:  North Carolina, among the 32 states with early voting this election, now joins Florida in deciding to keep its polls open longer. Four more hours tomorrow... The last day to vote there before Tuesday... It could mean eight thousand more early voters in one county alone.  In our third story on the Countdown...

Worsties...see below.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Bill-O, Ann Coulter and G. Gordon Liddy vie for tonight's top honors.

Say it Aint Joe: Joe Wuzelbacher...The plumber who isn't licensed...The would-be business owner who isn't trying to buy a business...The "Average Joe" who has an agent and a publicist, and is trying to get a book deal and a recording contract... Will be going to Washington if John McCain is elected.Our number one story: John Cleese is here, on the prospect of America's first-ever Secretary of Plungers...

Obama's Outlook: It was the chief rationalization of Al Gore's purported loss in 2000. If you can't carry your own state, you don't deserve to win anyway. Our fifth story on the Countdown: senior advisers to the Democratic Nominee telling Newsweek that it might be worth their while to put one more state on the table. Arizona. And suddenly those McCain robo-calls on his own turf, begin to make a lot more sense.

Commanding Decisions: After a long, bruising primary fight, which pitted his wife against the eventual nominee... it is now former President Bill Clinton who may have served up the most telling insight into Senator Barock Obama's leadership style. And in our fourth story on the Countdown, Senator John McCain's leadership style... apparently leading him to already pre-blame somebody, should he go down to defeat.

ODDBALL: We Seth the fight to music.

Early and Awesome:  In Nevada, they go from the produce aisle, to the slots, to the ballot box...In California, they're doing it drive-through style. In Ohio, they arrive at the board of elections by the bus-load. They are the early voters. And, in our third story on the Countdown -- they're turning out in droves.

Worsties...see below.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD:  Bill-O, Pamela Geller, Sarah Palin

Campaign Comment...

Running Weight:  While one woman associated with the McCain campaign is tonight facing criminal charges for a fraudulent accusation of a sexual and racial attack by an imaginary Obama supporter... In our fifth story on the Countdown: Another woman associated with the McCain campaign gave her first policy speech, just eight weeks into her candidacy... is tonight facing scrutiny over why she ridiculed productive research into the very subject she claims to be personally devoted to: children with special needs.

Racial Hoax:  At first, it seemed the McCain camp took the high road... Exercising moderation and reserve when one of his volunteers claimed an Obama African-American supporter sexually assaulted her... and carved a "B" in her face. Now, in our fourth story tonight, we learn from Talking Points Memo that... before police confirmed any part of Ashley Todd's account... let alone the truth of it... McCain's Pennsylvania communications director gave reporters quotes from the fictional attacker... telling reporters the "B" in Todd's face stood for... Barack Obama.

ODDBALL: KO on Colbert, and Joe McCain makes a 911 call.

Mapped Out: All but the human calculators among us, have hit -- or will hit -- a math wall. Trigonometry, Calculus... Long Division. But in our third story on the Countdown: John McCain may have hit his math wall, and its name might be... Colorado. A possible best-case McCain electoral scenario still yields worst-case results.

Worsties...see below.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Kathleen Parker, Rush Limbaugh and Rupert Murdoch.

Campaign Comment. 

Finally as promised tonight's Campaign Comment and John McCain's announcement today of the start of his "Joe The Plumber Tour." Senator, whaddya mean start?

Every day since the last debate -- eight long days ago -- when you mentioned this guy more often than Jackie Mason mentions his tour dates -- every day has been your "Joe The Plumber" tour...

Senator, I know you have found in this man something to be enthusiastic about, but you do realize you are merely re-enacting the years-old Republican strategy about strategy.

Find something irrelevant, inappropriate, or ineffective...Hammer it and hammer it and hammer it until people promise to vote for you if only you'd stop...And when it doesn't work...Do more of it, and yell it even louder!

A noun, and verb, and Joe The Plumber! Yeah, you heard me, Senator -- when it doesn't work. Early in the week, Suffolk University completed polling on the impact of this latest McCain strategy. To be fair, this was before those new ads, the ones in which eight or ten different people claim they are the Joe the Plumber....in some sort of creepy cross between the movies "Spartacus" and "V for Vendetta".

Nevertheless, the results in the battleground state of Ohio, of week one of America Held Hostage by Joe The Plumber? Almost nothing.

68 percent of Ohio respondents recognized the name.

Confidentially -- I understand three percent were mumbling it to themselves like Dustin Hoffman in Rainman.

68 percent of Ohio respondents recognized the name. Of that group.6 percent said this story made it more likely that they'd vote for McCain. 4 percent said this story made it more likely that they'd vote for Obama. 85 percent said it would have no impact on them whatsoever. Same thing in Missouri. 80 percent recognition there. 8 percent of the 80 percent more likely to vote for McCain. 3 percent of the 80 percent more likely to vote for Obama. 86 percent, unaffected. So John McCain is -- if he's lucky -- getting this net effect: About one voter out of every one hundred may be leaning a little bit more towards him. And remember... this campaign stunt essentially blotted out the great fireball in the sky that was supposed to be William The Blow-Things-Up-Guy.

It's eclipsed Sarah The Reformer, and John The Maverick.

With the campaign's last big-time free television event -- the debate -- now an almost distant memory, JTP is the campaign.

Senator... Joe The Plumber... is going into the toilet... and taking you with him.

So, naturally, you have taken the next step...

Umbrage... over Joe The Plumber.

That he approached Obama, lied to Obama's face about a business that wasn't worth what he said it was, that he wasn't about to buy like he said he was, has gotten lost in this barrage of nonsense, Senator.

That you made him some kind of phony every-man symbol for economic savaging of the middle class which Obama wouldn't effect but you in fact would, has gotten wallpapered over, Senator.

You're mad that people have made fun of him, when he didn't ask to be famous. You made him famous! You're mad that people questioned his story, when he didn't ask for people to question his story. You made a story out of his question! You're mad that people have criticized him, when he didn't ask to be criticized.  Senator -- these are not attacks on Joe The Plumber! They're attacks on John The Liar! Not to mention Sarah The Shopaholic...And Phil the Economy-Killer...G. Gordon the Domestic Terrorist...

Steve The Schmidt-Head...Charlie The Banker...The Other Joe The Fact-Checker...Rick The Lobbyist...Randy The Lobbyist...Wayne The Lobbyist...William The Saddam Lobbyist...Vinnie The Chin...And, of course....Bob The Builder.

Senator McCain, I'm pretty sure Senator Obama is right. He can probably survive two more weeks of personal attacks, but America probably can't survive four more years of government by the Republican Party. However, even more urgent, more pressing. He isn't working for you, and he's driving the rest of us to consider going back to the days of out-houses and wooden aqueducts. On behalf of a tortured nation, with blood streaming from its collective ears. Enough with Joe The Plumber already! That's Countdown for this, the Two Thousand and third day since the declaration of "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq.

I'm Keith The Anchor.

Good night, and good luck.

12 Days Out: There's the old dark-humor joke about the guy who's so chronically forgetful that he wouldn't show up for his own funeral. But... a candidate who wouldn't show up for his own electon night party? Our fifth story on the Countdown: The McCain campaign telling the Associated Press tonight that the Senator will be addressing his supporters -- who will have gathered in a ballroom at the Biltmore Hotel in Phoenix -- by video remote... while he stands at another location on the hotel lawn.  No, I am not kidding.

Party Poopers: With the weight of the last eight years on their shoulders, it is hard to believe that, a dozen days before the election, anybody from the Bush Administration could look morally upright. Yet in our fourth story tonight... McCain and his party, slowly starting to savage each other... including four Republican stalwarts -- three on the record, and one, devastatingly, off it... to say nothing of Governor Palin versus McCain. We start with -- well, call them Obama-cans, call them Barackafeller Republicans...threebreaking ranks today... endorsing Obama...

ODDBALL: Free tacos, a politician takes a header...and glo-kitty

Attacking Obama:  For all the Republican outrage at what they have perceived as the latest outrage against their candidates and their families, you would think there might be some places GOP water-carriers might go. You'd be wrong, again. Our third story on the Countdown: now it is Barack Obama and his gravely ill grandmother... sideswiped by the former chairman of the rabid right wing attack group "Freedom's Watch"... live, on this network, today.

Worsties...see below

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: The New York City Council, Robin Hayes, and Bill O'Reilly vie for tonight's top honors.

Campaign Comment:

Finally, as promised, tonight's Campaign Comment...

And the issue of 150-thousand dollars being spent by the Republican National Committee so it could play Vice Presidential Color-forms with Sarah Palin and her family is -- almost literally -- window-dressing.

But even this saga of the Would-Be Empress's New Clothes...does emphasize a point about the campaign, worthy of deep consideration.

150-thousand dollars in clothes, Senator McCain?

To make what might as well be an actress playing your running mate look more like a Vice President, Senator McCain?

Most of the money spent at Sak's Fifth Avenue and Niemann-Marcus, the latter also known to smart shoppers as Needless-Markup, Senator McCain?

While the economy -- in your famous imagery to David Letterman -- is cratering, Senator McCain?

While your campaign has tried to paint Senator Obama as elitist, Senator McCain?

A "Celebrity," Senator McCain?

Here's your running mate, Senator.

Like I said... Color-Forms.

This is the Hockey Mom, connected to the small towns where the Real Americans are.

Strugglin' and scrimpin' on what's workin' out to be a clothin' budget of 18-thousand dollars a week.

And here, Senator McCain, is a picture taken by a photographer from Time Magazine, in March, of your opponent.The elitist celebrity.

Nice... shoes.

This is the guy you tried to paint as the Paris Hilton of this campaign.

Senator, you picked a Paris Hilton to be your running mate...

And you brought this topic up.

How do you get around, while carrying the weight of this awful, cheesy, see-through, politically pointless, hypocrisy?

We see it constantly.

"Joe The Plumber."

Bad Barack Obama, ruining Joe's privacy.

When it was Senator McCain who invoked this poor guy 21 times in the Debates and every day since.

Bad media, prying into Joe's story.

When the whole thing, from his income to his professional licensing, was a complete fabrication.

This campaign will not, and apparently cannot, recognize that the American public has completely seen through it.

The image has been carefully stitched together, one hypocritical kvetch at a time.

If John McCain complains about Senator Obama, you can count on it, whatever it is; John McCain or Sarah Palin have done it more, or earlier, or worse, or more obviously.

Senator -- baseball?

You went after Obama because he first said he was always a White Sox fan but leaning towards the Phillies in the World Series, but then went and made an appearance with the team the Phillies are playing, the Tampa Bay Rays?

John McCain: I heard, maybe you did too, that Senator Obama was showing some love to the Devil Rays down in Tampa Bay yesterday. Now, I'm not dumb enough to get mixed up in a World Series between swing states, but I think I may have detected a little pattern with Senator Obama.It's pretty simple really. When he's campaigning in Philadelphia, he roots for the Phillies, and when he's campaigning in Tampa Bay, he shows love to the Rays. It's kind of like the way he campaigns on tax cuts, but then votes for tax increases after he's elected. Or the way he says he backs the middle class and then goes and attacks Joe the Plumber after Senator Obama's asked a tough question.

Aw, Senator, come on.

The day after Tampa Bay eliminated Obama's White Sox in the playoffs and moved on to face the Boston Red Sox for a berth in the World Series...

...there was Governor Palin in Jacksonville.

Sarah PALIN 10/7: "How about those Tampa Bay Rays? You know what that tells me? It tells me that the people in this area know a little something about turning an underdog into a victor."

And then eight days later, Senator... with the Rays leading the Red Sox two games to one in their playoff series, your running mate is now in New Hampshire where she says...

Sarah PALIN 10/15: "Red Sox fans know how to turn an underdog into a victor."

Senator, Baseball Affections, Hockey Moms and Unlicensed Plumbers, Niemann-Marcus Wardrobes and Color-Forms, and re-soled shoes -- they're diversions, and stupid ones -- "chaff," as the sub-mariners call it.

But they've become the essence of your campaign.

Even though everything you accuse your opponent of... you've done worse.

And there is one last point to make about all this.

Since September 18th, 1996, presidential candidates of both parties have had to beware... "The Bob Dole Moment."

That was the day the-then Republican nominee, facing a ballooning lead for the Democrat, stood at a school in the West Hills section of Los Angeles, and -- the day after an outstanding performance from L-A pitcher Hideo Nomo -- made a fateful baseball analogy.

Bob DOLE 9/18/96: ''I'm going to be like Nomo. I am going to pitch a no-hitter from now until November 5th. The Brooklyn Dodgers had a no-hitter last night, and I'm going to follow what Nomo did."

Dole, of course, meant the Los Angeles Dodgers.

The Dodgers, had moved out of Brooklyn in 1957.

Senator Dole had gotten the name of the team wrong -- by nearly 40 years.

A simple slip, invoking an image of timeless cluelessness.

And since that day no presidential hopeful has ever ad libbed -- certainly not about sports -- without some fear in the gut of reprising "A Bob Dole Moment."

Who knew John McCain's would be so similar.

No -- not the "I couldn't agree more" speech to a confused Pennsylvania crowd.

That was kind of like a Bob Dole moment.

But let's go back to Senator McCain about the World Series which began tonight.

This -- this -- is an actual Bob Dole Moment.

John McCAIN: "I heard, maybe you did too, that Senator Obama was showing some love to the Devil Rays down in Tampa Bay yesterday,"

Tampa Bay Rays, Senator.

They exorcised the "Devil" from their name last year.

After ten consecutive seasons in last place, they changed their name from "Devil Rays" to just "Rays" -- and immediately went to the World Series.

It was in all the papers, Senator.

To say nothing of all the sermons.

I bet even Joe The Plumber knew that.

The McMess in the McMessage:  Nothing could say "disconnect" faster. You're trying to pin your opponent with the phrase "share the wealth"...While your campaign gets pinned for having shared 150-thousand dollars of wealth with two of the ritziest clothing stores in the country, to dress up your running mate...It's almost inevitable that you'd wind up telling a Western Pennsylvania audience what terrible things were being said about them, and how you couldn't agree more. Our fifth story on the Countdown: John McCain now trying to survive the story of the Emporess' New Clothes.

The GOP Ticket: There was a nugget of actual news -- Sarah Palin saying if it would quiet skeptics and reassure supporters, she'd favor releasing her medical records. But the real takeaway from the Governor's joint interview with Senator McCain this afternoon in Ohio, with our Brian Williams... The chilling impression of political director Chuck Todd, who observed what he called a lack of "chemistry" between the running mates.  Our fourth story on the Countdown: "It was as if they grabbed two people and said 'here, sit next to each other, we are going to conduct an interview," according to Chuck -- who went on to wonder whether McCain now **blames** his V-P pick for his ailing campaign. "There was," Chuck Todd concluded.... "a tenseness."

ODDBALL: A footballer runs into a goal-post and a trip into the oddball mug shot hall of fame.

The Al Qaeda Connection:  Although Al-Qaeda's ability to affect the outcome of a US presidential election may have changed... Al Qaeda's rationale on the kind of American president it wants, has not. A bellicose American president -- according to this rationale -- is better for the recruitment of jihadists... and more likely to achieve Al-Qaeda's goal of draining American resources -- economic and otherwise. And in our third story on the Countdown, an Al-Qaeda-connected website showing support for a McCain presidency

Worst Persons....see below.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Rudy G, those in charge of the Nike Women's Marathon in San Francisco and Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann.

Campaign Comment:

Running Weight:  Maybe -- just maybe -- McCain campaign manager Rick Davis was right when he said, seven weeks ago, that "This election is not about the issues"...  Maybe this election will be decided more on the candidates' personalities after all. But in our fifth story on the Countdown:  Poor Mr. Davis could have had no idea that the personality polling says tonight voters are embracing in still-growing numbers is Barack Obama... And the personality they are rejecting... is Sarah Palin.

Diminishing Returns:  David Byrne's geography in "Life During Wartime" is a little out of sync but the message is the same. Heard about Houston? Heard about Dee-troit? Heard about Pittsburgh P-A? Swap in Denver, Des Moines, and Albuquerque and you'll understand the McCain campaign's internal anxiety. One top strategist, and a second campaign source reportedly saying their hopes in Colorado, Iowa and New Mexico are quote... "Gone." Our fourth story on the Countdown: This ain't no Mudd club, or C-B-G-B... I ain't got time for that now.

ODDBALL: The Beer Party and an old lady won't give a ball back.

McCain's Acorns:  It was less than one week ago that Senator John McCain, on national television, warned the nation about a grave threat to democracy... maybe even, quote, "destroying the fabric of democracy." So, in our third story tonight... why have McCain and Sarah Palin... stopped sounding the trumpet on this grave threat in the last few days? No - he didn't just forget.

Worsties...see below.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Dana Perino, Sean Hannity and Rupert Murdoch

Special Comment...see post.

Secret Donations:  If you have given less than 200-dollars to the Obama campaign... McCain campaign manager Rick Davis insinuating there could be something sinister about your donation... Senator McCain himself calling it scandalous.  If you believe we have not yet heard the last of the Reverend Jeremiah Wright... Mister Davis today hinting -- if not threatening -- that the Republicans are "re-thinking" their position on playing the Wright card in the waning days of the election. Our fifth story on the Countdown: Secrets and Lies.  The McCain campaign's redoubled effort to paint Senator Obama -- if not all who support him -- as different... and dangerous.

Call Wading: It's not easy for me to say this... and I wouldn't advise it unless the situation didn't call for it... but if the phone rings during this segment, get it... Yes, even if you don't have DVR. Now, why would I say that?What kind of phone call could possibly surpass the awesomeness that is Countdown? Wouldja believe... a phone call from Sarah Palin? Our fourth story tonight... is the McCain-Palin campaign for Robo-calls... or against them? Or just for the ones that they make... against the ones Obama makes?

ODDBALL: More McCain robo-calls (?) and a guy dancing with a bulldozer

Weakened Update: In the critical first half hour, an estimated 17 million people watched Sarah Palin watch Tina Fey play Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live. It was closer to 12 million by the time the Bullwinkle-lookalike of a moose got shot while the Governor danced along to an Amy Poehler rap during "Weekend Update." Our third story on Countdown: the best ratings since skater Nancy Kerrigan, right after her 1994 clubbing. So it worked for the show. Worked for the guest star too... she took home some of the cue cards from her sketch as souvenirs. But did it work for the campaign?

Worsties...see below.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Mark Halperin, John Dowd Brian Kilmeade, Sir Rudy of 9/11 and Roger Ailes vie for tonight's top honors.

Special Comment...see here.

Breaking: Beating Them to the Punch An election that the Obama campaign today formally, in an official request for a special prosecutor... suggested that the McCain campaign is conspiring to steal with help from the White House and the Department of Justice. Our fifth story tonight with the election itself at stake, Obama tonight setting the stage for a dramatic re-enactment of the battle over Republican corruption of the DOJ, to supress Democratic voting in 2004 and 2006 only this time with this Democrat the battle now being joined before it's too late. It is unfolding by the hour tonight. First, two top officials at the Justice Department leaked the fact that DOJ is seeking evidence that ACORN, a network of community groups... is involved in a coordinated national scam to register fake voters. 

The Late Show:  At the second presidential debate in Nashville, Senator John McCain having declared that he knows how to get Osama bin Laden...further, promising that as president he would "get" bin Laden... "no matter what." Finally, more than nine days later, more than nine months after he first made such a claim.... A follow-up question to Senator McCain on the specifics of his claim.... when he was asked... if he had quote, "the advantage of greater information than the current president?" Our fourth story on the Countdown: the follow-up question coming not from Williams, Gibson, Couric, Schieffer, Stephanopoulos, Brokaw...But from... the former weatherman of Channel 13 in Indianapolis.

ODDBALL: Sign stealing in Arizona, and a bungee wedding.

Pulling Punchlines:  The Al Smith Dinner. An especially curious stop for the Presidential candidates, on this 80th anniversary of the year Smith, a real Maverick, lost the presidency by 357 electoral votes, after a smear campaign that portrayed him as a religious radical who would sell the nation out to a frightening foreign power in a distant land. Our third story on the Countdown: from the Papist of 1928, to the Memorial Dinner of 2008... And, well, you could have knocked me over with a feather about whose name came up in the comedic speeches.

Worsties...see below.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Bob Grant,  Governor Palin's Secret Service Detail and Rick Santorum vie for tonight's top honors.

Sarah Night Live: I was so close. In our post-debate Countdown Wednesday night... I referred to Joe the Plumber as Senator John McCain's "invisible friend". Turns out Joe the Plumber is McCain's imaginary friend... Simon is his invisible friend. At least, according to the devastating portrayal by "Saturday Night Live" -- Weekend Update Thursday. And in our number one story on the Countdown, just in time to turn the whole ship around, Governor Sarah Palin will reportedly appear on S-N-L tomorrow night.

The Hate Talk Express: What you already knew was ugly -- chances are, whatever you caught of last night's debate confirmed that -- is tonight, officially violent. Our fifth story on the Countdown: Just uttering Senator Obama's name, now apparently enough to get you a black eye at a Palin campaign event... From a pack of old ladies. I wish I were kidding... I am not.

McClaims Adjustment  Given the frequency with which he used them on the campaign trail... It should be no surprise that some of John McCain's worst, most obvious canards about Barrock Obama... ended up in the debate last night. Our fourth story on the Countdown tonight, a partial inventory of McCain misspeaks from Debate Number 49. There were, of course, the obvious muffs anyone can make, albeit ideally not in such quantity. Calling Palin a bresh... of freth air.

ODDBALL: Greg Packer Strikes Back and Mr. Met visits Fox News

State Expectations:  It is almost 60 years since it happened. A Presidential campaign, ballooning to utter predictability, the L-word (landslide) thrown around, and the Gallup Company discontinuing polling with two weeks to go, because, gosh, why bother. Our third story on the Countdown: knowing his history and at least the psychological rudiments of complacency... Senator Obama wants no L-words uttered. And yet uttered they have been.

Worsties, see below... 

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Fox News, President Diane Fedele and Bill-O

The Wait Show:  In our number one story on the Countdown, Senator John McCain actually showed up to the Late Show with David Letterman... To say, "I screwed up". And don't think we were just joking about whether the Senator would make it this time.

The podcast of last night's broadcast is suffering some delays. It is in the system being processed and will hopefully be available shortly. Thanks for your patience.

UPDATE: OK, it's good to go.

Crock the Vote:  As tonight's New York Times/CBS News poll put Senator Obama fourteen points ahead of Senator McCain. Another supporter of the Republican ticket -- this time in Pennsylvania -- upon hearing Senator Obama's name at a Palin rally... today yelling from the crowd: quote, "Kill Him." Our fifth story on the Countdown: And still, the Republicans say nothing. Senator McCain responding to these repeated calls for violence by his supporters... not by denouncing them... but by attacking Obama.

Special Comment:  In a moment, a brief Special Comment on John McCain's dangerous case of denial, while his campaign staff spins out terrorist fantasies about Barack Obama, and his supporters continue to publicly call -- as late as today -- for Obama's death.

 
The  Poll Truth:

That a calm, centrist, elegant leader who remains the longest serving mayor, ever, of his city, should be remembered only for a political theory named **after** him -- is a shame.

What would be of greater interest to Tom Bradley, of the Bradley Effect, ten years and fifteen days after his death, was whether or not there **still is** a Bradley Effect, or if there ever was one, or if, three weeks from today, **another** African-American politician named Barack Obama may encounter... **The Reverse** Bradley Effect.

Worsties...see below/.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Bilo...and more!
 
The Late no-Show 

With John McCain today saying tomorrow night's debate will not be a game-changer...

There is every chance that his **last** chance to effect one...

May occur, at the desk, of the late night talk show host on whom he skipped out on the 24th of September...

And who has pounded him, with the precision of Muhammad Ali, every night since.

Our number one story on the Countdown: a new view of tomorrow's debate...

It's McCain's chance to **practice** whatever he plans to say to David Letterman on Thursday.

Back Sliming:   In terms of substance among the milestones of this campaign, Governor Palin's speech at Richmond, Virginia this afternoon was not much. In terms of symbolism it may turn out to be... everything. Our fifth story on the Countdown: the Republican Vice Presidential candidate inadvertently lashing out at her very supporters who were encouraging her to speak louder...

Base Less:  It's one thing for a conservative pundit like William Kristol to write that John McCain needs to fire his entire campaign team...Or Christopher Hitchens writing that Sarah Palin is a "disgrace" and "unscrupulous"...But in our fourth story on the Countdown: What does it mean, when the Republican Governor of Florida decides he's too busy to help the GOP nominee get into the White House?

ODDBALL: Donkeys in the house and a pumpkin ride.

Scandalgate: The official investigation into Sarah Palin's Troopergate Scandal released over the weekend... Was so unambiguous that it spelled out how, quote, she "abused her power"... how she broke the quote, "code of ethics" and how she was guilty of "violating Alaska Statute". And she immediately lied about what the report said. Our third story on the Countdown: a fitting triple-header: Troopergate, Troopergate-Report-Gate, and something new -- the possibility that the giant new home she claimed her husband and a few contractor buddies built, was actually improperly constructed by the same people who built the twelve million dollar sports complex Mayor Palin got built in Wasilla, Alaska.

Worsties...see below.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Billo the Clown, Mark Salter and Pastor Arnold Conrad

Richard Lewis is Here:  The urgency of this presidential election has been matched with potent imagery...Tina Fey as Sarah Palin... asking for a lifeline.. "I would like to phone a friend." Less generously: Palin as McCain's female Sancho Panza, as declared by conservative columnist George Will. And now, in our number one story on the Countdown... McCain as Gollum in "Lord of the Rings". And bringing his own set of brush strokes... comedian Richard Lewis, presently.

In The Line of Firings:  At the end of a week in which the McCain campaign has been trying to paint Senator Obama as a terrorist sympathizer -- if not a terrorist himself... At the end of a week in which the calls of violence at McCain- Palin rallies... did not stay contained merely to McCain- Palin rallies -- At last night's Senate debate in Georgia, one woman hollering, quote "Bomb Obama"...Our fifth story on the Countdown: Breaking news tonight that Senator McCain has been forced to tamp down the fear and anger of his supporters... And try to reassure them that Barack Obama is =not someone= of whom they have to be "scared as President of the United States."  The question tonight: Will it be enough?

Troopergate: After telling his supporters for more than a year--especially in recent weeks--that he is a maverick, Senator John McCain proved it today in front of his own supporters. And they booed him for it. Our number-four story tonight, where does John McCain go now... when, as I think I may have mentioned... he's now so mavericky he's mavericking away from his own supporters... and getting booed for his troubles?

ODDBALL: half a house, putin with tigers and a donkey house.

Firing Under Fire:  By releasing her own report about the findings of her own investigation surrounding allegations she abused her authority as governor, Sarah Palin had hoped to justify the firing of an Alaska state trooper in 2007 -- and do so in advance of a report from the state legislature.  Just minutes ago, members of the Alaska Legislative Council announced they **will** disclose their report.  The findings, at this hour, still unknown. But regardless...  It's probably too late for spin. In our third story on the Countdown...

Primetime Fever: There's no question that America has come down with a case of MSNBC Primetime fever...and the only cure for that fever...is late night laughs. In our number two story...last night, between CBS's "The Late Show" and NBC's "The Tonight Show"...Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow took over the airwaves. We will get to Keith in a moment... ..

Character Development:   Senator Hillary Clinton paid a visit... So did Senator Barack Obama and Senator John McCain. In our number one story on the Countdown... Saturday Night Live is obviously aiming for laughs when it portrays presidential candidates... but it's better to be in on the joke. And during the primary season, those three Senators made cameo appearances... as did former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee and former New York Mayor Rudolf Giuliani. Now, rumors continue to swirl... that S-N-L's next big political get... will be Governor Sarah Palin.

The Resurge Isn't Working:  Since Senator McCain has become fond of posing everything he says in the form of a question: With the Dow already down seventeen percent for the week so far -- do you think, Senator McCain, that Americans give a crap about rehabilitated sixties radical William Ayers? With the Dow on track for its biggest weekly percentage drop ever -- do you believe, Senator McCain, that voters would be in favor of your self-named "American Homeownership Resurgence Plan" if they realized that it would "Re-surge" only the balance sheets of financial institutions... passing all of their losses onto American taxpayers? Our fifth story on the Countdown: Senator McCain, cooking the books of his own homeowner bailout plan.

Wile E. Quixote:  If the polls weren't bad enough, if the economy weren't dragging you down, if both Democratic candidates weren't calling you out, if all that did not spell trouble for your campaign... how about one of the nation's leading conservatives comparing you to Don Quixote? Our fourth story tonight, tilting at windmills is not an alternative-energy proposal.

ODDBALL: Cop car piggyback and a terlet on wheels.

Shellshock Shock:  It was one thing when Cindy McCain said that Barrock Obama had voted against her son, because he voted against a troop-funding bill that failed to include a timeline... just as Senator McCain voted against a troop-funding bill that had a timeline. That was just a mendacious attack on a poliitican. Tonight, in our third story, Cindy McCain's mendacious attack on the troops themselves.

Worsties...see below

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD:  Annie Karni of Page Six of The New York Post, Ed Snider, the owner of hockey's Philadelphia Flyers President Bush

Political Chutzpah:  If voting is the bare minimum of participating in our democracy...It can be doubled by persuading someone else to vote. And in our number one story on the Countdown... if you fly all the way to Florida to do it... You are either a great patriot. Or you are the comedian Sarah Silverman, who will join us presently.

Disconnect the Dots:  On the day that Senator McCain's campaign pretended to be suspended... it ran 1,300 ads. On the day that Senator McCain's campaign pretended it would no longer focus on William Ayers -- Today -- it released a statement about Mr Ayers... and the Senator himself -- as well as his running mate both "responding with gusto" to a question about Mister Ayers... in a joint interview with Fox News.  Our fifth story on the Countdown: The Republican nominee, an apparent prisoner -- the word is chosen deliberately -- of his own mixed messages.

On Board with McCain:  Why do William Ayres and the Reverend Jeremiah Wright matter? The answer, we are told, has to do with Barrock Obama's judgment and character... Judgment in choosing to associate with them... Judgment in choosing to serve on a board with Ayres...Character in choosing not to walk out on Wright's rhetoric. In our fourth story, what we learn applying this litmus test to John McCain. We told you last night about the U-S Council for World Freedom, on whose board McCain sat for years. But while Ayres was a rehabilitated terrorist when Obama served on a board with him, what about McCain's fellow board members in the '80s?

ODDBALL: Putin Judo, Monkey Waiters, Neck Tattoo Bandit

Poison Pill:  John McCain is right.  If elected he will get you a five-thousand dollar health care tax credit. He didn't mention, if you don't have a family, the credit will only be 2500. He also didn't mention that you'll probably have to give most of it back, to pay for the new taxes he'll sock you with, if you get health benefits at work, which he'll consider income. He also didn't mention that his plan is so top-heavy, scholars at four major universities have concluded that this conversation will be academic for as many as 20 Million Americans -- because a McCain Presidency would eliminate their health care. Our third story on the Countdown: John McCain may be hazardous to your health... as revealed in last night's debate.

Worsties...see below.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Kathryn Jean Lopez, former Maryland police superintendent Thomas Hutchins and  Bobby May, McCain Campaign chair in Buchanan County, Virginia.

Seanabler:   When a hack bases an entire show around a transparent quack... it may seem cartoonish, but it must be taken seriously... Particularly by the communications director of that show's target -- Senator Barack Obama. And in our number one story on the Countdown, the Obama campaign's Robert Gibbs delivered unto Sean Hannity a two-fer. Deflating the argument about Obama's so-called associations... and skewering Hannity's supposed investigation... all at once.

Fear  and Smear:  The same candidate whose campaign manager -- on September first, at the Republican National Convention -- declared "This election is not about the issues"... The same candidate who -- on September 15th, the first day the Dow crashed -- declared that "the fundamentals of our economy are strong"... The same candidate who -- on September 24th -- pretended to suspend his campaign so that he could return to Washington to deal with the bailout negotiations...  Now plans to ignore the economy... entirely... While attacking his opponent with every bit of sleaze that he can sling. Our fifth story on the Countdown: A top aide to Senator John McCain telling the New York Daily News, quote: "We have no choice. If we keep talking about the economic crisis, we're going to lose." In other words, McCain First.  Country? Not so much.

Mapped Out:  The polite word is "cautious." The in-house NBC/MSNBC electoral map is not a wild-eyed thing. It is beginning, however, to look very much like the wild-eyed things. Our fourth story on the Countdown: In the last ten days the economy melted down, and with it -- Senator McCain's hopes.

Debate and Switch:  Tomorrow night's presidential debate in Nashville, Tennessee, will certainly make history for at least one reason... no, not because even John McCain has decided to vote for Obama... ...but because, in our third story on the Countdown, McCain will be aiming his remarks at the smallest demographic in debate history... one person... the one, remaining undecided voter who has never gotten an anti-Obama email and has never heard of Reverend Wright... and also lives in one of the dwindling number of supposed "swing states."

Worsties...see below

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: A couple of guys join Rich Lowry,  Richard Fontaine and Joe Lieberman vie for tonight's top honor.

The Palin Remarks: A Special Comment.

Bailout Bill 2.0:  That vote right now... perhaps hinging on tonight's vote on Capitol Hill. And in our fifth story on the Countdown:  According to the latest polling out of the battleground states...Senator Obama with a clear edge... heading into the final weeks of this campaign.

Surly McClaims: For all the talk about how Sarah Palin can not handle herself with anyone other than a starry-eyed supporter... let alone someone challenging and adversarial... our fourth story tonight, a fresh reminder that the top of her ticket... has his own shortcomings. John McCain sat down yesterday with the editorial board of the Des Moines Register. He had a strategy here that apparently included opening with a dictator joke during a discussion of the Bailout. And it flat-lined. This is just a not acceptable situation. I'm not saying this is the perfect answer. If I were dictator, which I always aspire to be, I would write it, very diff, a little bit differently.
 
Stumped Speech:  The worst might be yet to come. Or for Governor Sarah Palin there could be an epiphany of knowledge, a metaphorical lightning bolt of insight going through her, perhaps at tomorrow's debate. But, in our third story on the Countdown, no matter what is next, there will always be 6:45 Eastern Daylight Time on Wednesday, October 1st, 2008. The moment CBS News played a tape, a kind of smoking gun of stupidity... During which the Republican Vice Presidential candidate... flat-lined. In a segment in which both Mrs. Palin and Senator Joe Biden were asked about Roe-v-Wade and other Supreme Court rulings, the Governor responded thoughtfully about her opposition, insisting the abortion issue should be left to the States. Then asked if there is a right to privacy in the Constitution, she answered that she believed there was, and didn't seem to notice when Katie Couric interrupted to note that that right was the quote "cornerstone of Roe v Wade." And finally came the question and answer that erased whatever had remained of Sarah Palin's credibility as a national political figure.

Worsties...see below

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD:  Steve King of Iowa, Brian Wilson of Fixed News, and Bill-O

Palin Reprise:  All political gaffes will now, by necessity, have to be put in historical context. B-P or A-P... Before Palin, or After Palin. And in our number one story on the Countdown, all Palin material will have to be further divided... As B-D, or A-D... Before Debate, and After Debate. Unless we are being low-balled in the greatest conspiracy in world history... or they load her up on steroids... tomorrow night's face-off may produce a cornucopia of brand-new classics... And before these moments yet unborn emerge... We wanted to salute the river of words Governor Palin has already navigated.