Non-State of the Union Fallout  Hey. How about that Bobby Jindal speech, huh? Our fifth story on the Countdown: Now that he's given a Republican Response slammed by apparently all but one Republican, what's he going to do now? He's going... to Disney World. Seriously. Taking the family to Orlando. At least that's his story. And unfortunately, his story last night -- the lynchpin anecdote...Apparently not true.

Attraction of Rule:  When the water main to your house is broken, you won't improve things... by pumping more water through it. Yet that has been the U-S government approach to fixing America's crippled credit system... pumping more money into corroded, corrupted pipes -- the banks. Tonight, in our fourth story on the Countdown, with bank executives acting as though the government built them a water park... President Obama today went before the cameras with a plunger and a wrench. All right, enough with the metaphors.

ODDBALL: Glass Fishy and a Guy with 7 Foot Beard.
 
Twits-a-Twittering:  As President Obama gave his Joint Address to Congress last night...Republicans were looking to cook up a response And no, I'm not referring to Governor Jindal's televised rebuttal. They needed something big... Something akin to the Reagan Revolution... Something like the Gingrich Revolution of 1994...Our third story on the Countdown...the next Republican uprising will happen through...Twitter.

Worsties...see below.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD:

Doggy Decision:   The big idea may have been planted on the very day that Barock Obama became the President of the United States... In our number one story on the Countdown, what kind of dog... the Obamas will get for their daughters, Malia and Sasha. Michelle Obama has made her decision: a Portuguese Water dog. But her office tonight says hers is one of only four votes in the Obama family.

Citizen Inane:  Contrary to the popular idiom: Some things do not have to be seen to be believed. I have never personally witnessed nuclear fission -- yet I believe in its capacity for power and or destruction. I have never personally met Irahnian president Ahmedeenijad -- yet I believe he exists. Nor have I ever met Senator Richard Shelby... who -- in our fifth story on the Countdown -- has perpetuated the treasonous, unsubstantiated rumor that President Obama is not a citizen of the United States. On what grounds? Because the Alabama Republican says he has never seen his birth certificate. To be perfectly clear:

Four More Years:  Two days into office, President Barrock Obama signed an executive order to shut down Guantanamo Bay, where the US is holding 245 people... of dubious guilt, in dubious conditions. Our fourth story tonight, on Friday night, in a brief statement filed by Mr. Obama's Justice Department... the news that he will continue to deny legal rights to the 600 detainees the US is holding at Bagram, Afghanistan. Just like Mr. Bush did.

ODDBALL: Tour of California and White Turf Racing.

Post-Racial:  Surprisingly enough, a non-apology apology in which those who "may have been offended" are portrayed as opportunists with axes to grind, does not make the offense go away. In fact, as the New York Post, and its owner News Corp, and its owner Rupert Murdoch are learning... it makes it worse. In our third story on the Countdown, the outrage over the Post's Obama-Dead Chimp cartoon goes national. The chairman of the NAACP will join us presently.

Worsties...see below.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Fred Barnes, Chris Wallace and Mitch McConnell vie for tonight's top honors.

Winning Words:   If last night had been the 2003 Oscars... Dustin Lance Black and Bill Maher and Sean Penn probably would've spent the day being raked over the coals by the yapping toadies of a media-government complex that was beginning to institutionalize the demonizing of dissent and difference. But in our number one story: screw the yapping toadies -- they lost -- and free speech, won.

Post Racial Politics:  The non-apology apology from the New York Post... has, appropriately, had a non-impact impact. Our fifth story on the Countdown:  The protests continuing tonight both outside the headquarters of the right wing tabloid's parent company, News Corps... And inside the news room... where even the gossip page is distancing itself from the controversy. All this as right-wing wing-nut Alan Keyes is now warning that President Obama is a "radical communist" and a "usurper" who must be stopped... or... the United States will "cease to exist." No, I am not kidding.

City Hall:  On Monday, President Obama will meet with the nation's governors... governors whose states are hurting. Today, Mr. Obama met with more than 70 mayors from around the country. Our fourth story tonight... is the president outflanking the Republican Congress?

ODDBALL: Hannit's puzzle...weee!!

A-Rod & Real:  Less than 72 hours after his confessional news conference, designed to begin rebuilding his support among fans (and advertisers), baseball superstar Alex Rodriguez's already improbable story of how and when he used steroids, has fallen apart. Our third story on the Countdown:

-- He said the drug "Boli" -- Primobolan -- had been obtained for him by a cousin; Today a newspaper report revealed Rodriguez had a personal trainer linked to steroids.

-- He said the steroid had been purchased "over-the-counter" in the Dominican Republic; Today another report revealed the drug isn't even legally available there with a prescription.

-- And he insisted he had not used any performance enhancing drugs since the 2003 season; Today, the story about the notorious trainer included the startling revelation that the man had travelled with Rodriguez, as recently as the baseball season of 2007.

Worsties...see below.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Rick Santelli and El Rushbo vie for tonight's top honors.
 
The Party's Over:  "I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. "Everybody's out of work, or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's worth. Banks are going bust. Shopkeepers can't sell beer. Beer sales are running low, and nobody knows what to do. There's no end to it." In our number one story on the Countdown, for the first time since records have been kept in 1959, beer sales are down -- dramatically so. "We know things are bad. Worse than bad. They're crazy. Everything is going crazy, so we don't go out for a beer any more."

Nigh Crimes and Misdimeanors:  While President Obama went to Canada today to get started on the "clean up America's image abroad" part of his to-do list. His bigger problem... And our fifth story...Cleaning up America's image... in America.The President tonight with a new set of provocative quotes from his own party's Speaker of the House about prosecuting the worst abuses, and abusers, of the Bush Administration.

G.O.Posturing:  Just a coincidence. Four, possibly five, Republican governors... Each with dreams of being on the Presidential ticket in 2012...Are talking about not accepting money for projects in their state... from the Stimulus Plan. Just a coincidence. Our fourth story on the Countdown: putting their national partisan future desires, ahead of their constituents' bi-partisan immediate needs...To say nothing of the reality gap: state law-makers could over-rule them, and take the money anyway. Former Governor, Former D-N-C Chair Howard Dean will join us with reaction in a moment.

ODDBALL: Horse chase of the week and a Hannity spoiler.

Caricature Assault:  The protests outside the New York Post were one thing. The protest inside the newspaper is quite another. Our third story on the Countdown: an associate editor of Rupert Murdoch's traditionally Criticize-And-You're-Fired tabloid has e-mailed her colleagues, agreeing with their disgust that the paper published a racially-charged cartoon depicting the "writer of the Stimulus" as the crazed chimpanzee shot and killed Monday by Connecticut police. The e-mail, and thus the evidently large internal dissension, became public.

Worsties...see below.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Sarah Palin, the Manatee and el-Rushbo vie for tonight's top honors.
 
Sole of a Nation:   This morning, President Obama embarked on the first international trip of his presidency...to Canada... where he was greeted like a rock star, eh. The difference from the last American presidential overseas trip, could not have been greater. That the one -- of course -- in which then President Bush was greeted with shoes, of the airborne variety. Our number one story tonight...the Iraqi journalist who hurled those shoes at George W. Bush, in court.

The Homefront:  Only days ago -- when opposing President Obama's stimulus plan -- Republicans in Congress complained that the Stim did not focus sufficient resources... on housing. Tonight, now that President Obama has unveiled his plan to fix the housing crisis... In our fifth story on the Countdown: Congressional Republicans are saying the President has focused too many resources... on housing.

Post it, Not:  There is a long, nauseating history (and a particularly revolting strain of racism) which has compared black people to apes. It reappeared last summer and fall, repeatedly. There is a danger in normalizing violence against politicians or people to whom one is politically opposed. It reappeared when a domestic terrorist attacked a Tennessee Church because he couldn't attack the liberals denounced by a conservative agitator. Yet in our fourth story on the Countdown: when Rupert Murdoch's New York Post prints a cartoon touching on the worst parts of both these traditions, and the best defense the cartoonist can make is that he wasn't referring to the President of the United States, just, maybe, the Speaker of the House...Some actually postulate it was neither racist nor hateful.

ODDBALL: Naked people doing art...and Obama's gift from Shaq.

Bach in the Saddle:  We already knew some Republicans are taking credit in their home districts for the stimulus money coming their way... even though they voted against it. But in our third story tonight -- that's almost laudable compared to what other Congressional Republicans are saying about the Stim. Basically - it's the American version, of the Russian Revolution. Let me warn you: you are going to hear excerpts from what may be the craziest interview in American political history. And if I use the terms "craziest"... "Republican"... and Congress...Who else could I be talking about...

Worsties...see below.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Newt, Trace Gallagher, Charles Krauthammer and Kit Bond vie for tonight's top honors.

Magic Nate-ball:  The technical term is "logistic regression"... And it argues that a series of statistics from all the past baseball seasons, will tell you what's likeliest to happen this baseball season...And it argues that a series of poll numbers and voting results from all the past elections will tell you what's likeliest to happen this election. And now, in our Number One story on the Countdown, it argues that a series of facts about all the past Oscar winners will tell you... who's likely to be the next Oscar winners.

Now What?  Good Evening from New York. Rote complaint number 236 out of the Republican handbook: The Obama Stimulus could not possibly take effect fast enough... In reality, it only took a couple of minutes. Our fifth story on the Countdown: Less than half an hour after the President signed the stimulus package into law this afternoon... Construction crews in Tuscumbia, Missouri... beginning work on a new bridge...The first project in the nation to get started under the $787 Billion dollar plan.

Unpardonable:  Here's one for the TiVo, kids. President Bush was right. Our fourth story tonight: the news that President Bush even enraged his own vice president... but in this case (last time I'll say it)... President Bush was right.

ODDBALL: Peanuts...doh!

Bristol Power:  There is a whistleblower in the House Of Hypocrisy that is Governor Sarah Palin... And it is her daughter -- Bristol Palin. In our third story on the Countdown, she is now speaking out about being a teenage mother... And she says that abstinence is not realistic. And that having her baby was her own choice, and that her mother's view on that -- quote -- "doesn't matter".

Worsties...see below.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: David Tillman, Bill-O, and Rush Limbaugh vie for tonight's top honors.

A-nother A-pology:   For an athlete being credited with apologizing for using steroids, Alex Rodriguez sure has been meticulous about not admitting he used steroids. At a follow-up news conference just eight days after he admitted to using something that triggered a positive test during a steroid sweep in 2003, Rodriguez went as far as using the term "Boli" to describe the substance he and an unidentified cousin obtained in the Dominican Republic and injected each other with, about twice a month, for three years, never knowing whether it was horse laxatives or lighter fluid and apparently never realizing that "Boli" was a nickname for the steroid "Primo-bolan." Our number one story on the Countdown: But at least he produced two world-class Freudian Slips.

Q&O:  "With the private sector so weakened by this recession," Barack Obama said in the opening remarks of the first news conference of his presidency, "the federal government is the only entity left with the resources to jolt our economy back to life." Our fifth story on the Countdown: on a day of firsts for the 44th -- first news conference, following first Senate victory, following first Town Hall -- his repeated warning that now could instead be the time of a last... the last chance to ameliorate or reverse the worst economic downturn since the Depression.

Block Party:  It was two months ago on this news hour that we obtained and revealed the entire contents of a secret Republican memo... the gist-- that blocking the auto bailout was a chance for Senators to take a, quote, "first shot" against unions, for backing Democrats. Two months later, the entire U-S economy needs a bailout... the un- and under-employed, the middle class and collars blue and white. So, in our fourth story tonight, should it surprise anyone that Republicans are again trying to hurt those who backed Democrats... namely, the country itself?

ODDBALL: Doggie steals bone and puking and donuts.

The Heroes of Flight 1549:  Our third story on the Countdown -- barely three and a half weeks after their routine flight to Charlotte, North Carolina hit a flock of birds and ended up in the Hudson River....The crew of US Airways Flight 1549 was back in New York City.

Worsties...see below.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Leon Panetta (kinda), Michael Steele, and Roy C Smith vie for tonight's top honors.

A-Pology:  In 2007 on '60 Minutes', New York Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez was asked if he had ever used steroids, human growth hormone, or any other performance enhancing substance. He response was a flat "No". Tonight we know he was flat-out lying. In our number one story:  Alex Rodriguez... recipient of the two largest contracts in baseball history... on pace to break the career home run record... has now admitted the story is true; he tested positive for performance enhancing-drugs in 2003.

Salesman in Chief:  The author of the guest Op-Ed in today's Washington Post warned of disastrous consequences if Congress does not pass the Stimulus. Only his first and last names were given in the by-line.  At the article's conclusion, his job is referenced. Quote: "The writer... is president of the United States." Our fifth story tonight: "If nothing is done," the part-President part writer opines, "Our nation will sink deeper into a crisis that, at some point, we may not be able to reverse."

Heart of the GOP:  At this grave time... two wars unwon... the global economy undone... the governor of Alaska, now the winking face of the Republican Party -- has assessed the challenges America faces and has begun the daunting task of confronting... Ashley Judd. Our fourth story today, we'd happily escort Sarah Palin into obscurity, but Republicans keep telling us, she is the party. Have it your way.

ODDBALL: The great race and a guy with no pants up a tree.

The Flight 1549 Tapes:  With Captain Chesley Sullenberger virtually silent since he placed U-S Airways Flight 1549 onto the Hudson River with barely a splash on January 15th. The definition of an "interview" with the Captain has been utterly re-defined: a 26-second address to the people of his hometown... 35 words on an evening newscast tonight... two sentences transcribed by a sports columnist. Thus did it dawn on me that I quote "interviewed" Captain Sullenberger right before the Super Bowl last Sunday. The entirety of that quote "interview" will be presented here in a moment, and it is in fact, much less than I'm making it out to be. Our third story, however, is no exaggeration: Today, the FAA released the tape of the conversation between Captain Sullenberger and Air Traffic Control... moments before his plane landed in the Hudson River.

Worsties...see below.
 
WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Bill-O the clown, Pete Sessions and Bernard Goldberg vie for tonight's top honors.

Special Comment.:   

David Shuster in for KO tonight...

Vet to the Point:  When Senator Tom Daschle redd the newspaper this morning... he said he knew it was over. As he told our own Andrea Mitchell, in a brief and emotional telephone conversation, quote: "I redd the New York Times. I can't pass health care if it's too much of a distraction... so I called the president this morning."  Our fifth story on the Countdown: Daschle withdrew his nomination as President Obama's Secretary of Health and Human Services. And he wasn't the only member of the administration to quit today over tax problems.

Stim For Sale:  President Barack Obama is determined to sell the stimulus plan...And sell it, and sell it, and sell it. In our fourth story on the Countdown, the President granted interviews with five news anchors today...  And behind the scenes, he is basically telling Democrats to do what it takes to get the stimulus package passed.

ODDBALL: Bloomberg gets bit, a lobster goes free, and a Hungarian politician goes boom.

Justice For All:  For years - he has refused to cooperate with any investigation into the political firing of nine U-S attorney generals. But tonight, in our third story on the Countdown, Karl Rove has capitulated. Just as a new era begins at the Justice Department

Still Bushed...

G.O.P. Joe:   To our number one story on the Countdown...and tonight, great news for Republican Lawmakers left out in the wilderness after the past two elections that have swept the Democratic party into power. Back-up is on the way...and his name is Joe. Actually, it isn't Joe...he calls himself Joe.