Fun with Numbers:  Good Evening from New York. As Boss Limbaugh and the Republicans continue to demand that nothing be done by the government to fix the economy... Advocating instedd, the same failed, hands-off, rich-get-richer, everything else goes into the toilet approach, that got us into this mess in the first place... This morning, a very real reminder of what's at stake... and what is being done by President Obama to fix it. Our fifth story on the Countdown: Following the news that the unemployment rate has jumped -- again -- to its worst rate in a quarter century... The President, attending the graduation ceremony of the 25-Ohio police cadets... whose jobs he helped save... by signing the stimulus plan.

Earmark of the Beast: Republicans last night succeeded in blocking the funding bill needed to keep the government running past... ((check watch))... midnight tonight. Our fourth story tonight... the motive for this high-stakes opposition? Principle, of course... purely principle. About which, more in a moment.

ODDBALL:

Courtside Debate:  Forget President Obama's Blackberry list. There is now an even more exclusive club: People who have trash-talked with the President of the United States at a basketball game. So far this group consists of only one person. In our third story on the Countdown: Washington Wizards fan Miles Rawls will join us presently.

Worsties...see below.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Ann Coulter, Senator Jim Demint, Brett Baier and Glenn Beck vie for tonight's top honors.

I Love the 90's:   Ah, the 1990s. Fannie Packs, Zima, Hootie and the Blowfish, Me Doing A Show On MSNBC At Eight O'Clock Eastern.... Our number one story, as the Teens approach, just ten months in the offing...It looks like the '90s are out for revenge. Today, news of a 'Seinfeld' reunion of sorts...And Newt Gingrich is threatening a return to elected office. Over my dead Furby!

Party Tricks: Boss Limbaugh was the first to declare an open desire for President Obama's failure...Making it safe (if not mandatory) for other Republicans to follow suit. In our fifth story on the Countdown: Doctor Ada Fisher has become -- 34 days after his election -- the first member of the Republican National Committee to call for Michael Steele's resignation as that Party's chairman. The question tonight: How long until others follow her?

Bush's Brain Freeze: Just one day after his old boss agreed to let him testify before Congress, Karl Rove has already lost it...In our fourth story tonight, making insane allegations-- fittingly-- in an interview with Fox News dot-com.
 
ODDBALL: Jacko's London Farewell and Cow Urine Soda Pop.

Bush Constitution: It was far worse than tortured logic, about torture...It was a dark constitutional fantasy...A remarkably wrong interpretation of the nation's highest laws...Handed over to the Bush administration as if it were... law...Because, for more than seven years, it effectively was. In our third story on the Countdown, the Bush-era, post-9/11, John Yoo Justice Department memos. Scott Horton, the international human rights lawyer who pegged this for what it was -- a blueprint for dictatorship -- will join us presently.

Worsties...see below.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD: Ann Coulter, a fella that can't spell Hussein and Bill O'Reilly

Silver Lining:  It's been 754 days since a young presidential hopeful stood before a crowd in Springfield, Illinois. Two years later...the candidate has become the President...But the title's not the only thing that's changed... Our number one story...this just in, the President is going gray.

Ditto Heads:  In the parable of the Scorpion and the Frog, it is only after much pleeding -- and a promise from the Scorpion that he will not sting the Frog -- that the amphibian finally consents to carry his poisonous cargo across a river. The Scorpion, as every child learns, stings the Frog anyway, saying, as they both sink, "it is my nature." Conservative Columnist Jonah Goldberg briefly citing the tale today in his defense of Boss Limbaugh and his open desire for President Obama to fail. Quote: "The Scorpion must sting the Frog." Our fifth story on the Countdown: Mr. Goldberg and the Republicans evidently could not be bothered to read through all 489 words of the parable. The lesson is: the Scorpion and the Frog both die.

Earmark of the Beast: We told you yesterday of the Republican Party's phoney-baloney righteous outrage over Mr. Obama's budget for the next fiscal year, the 12 months starting in October. Tonight, in our fourth story on the Countdown, the party of fiscal conservatism, now in a lather about the bill, called the Omnibus spending bill... to fund the government from this Friday, up until October. Why? Because the bill contains earmarks, which are, as we know, the work of Satan. Are the earmarks wasteful? Well, wait til you hear who put them in the bill. No, the real problem is that mean old President Obama promised to end earmarks forever! And when that promise broke, it did so, so loudly...It even woke-up Senator John McCain.

ODDBALL: Cat in a tree and a doggie runs in his sleep.

Bush's Blank Check:  After releasing Bush-era legal memos which had attempted to provide cover if President Bush had wanted to use the military to run raids in this country... or pull people off the street without warrants... or suppress free speech or the media... Sources at the Justice Department today said: prepare yourself -- there are more of those memos on the way... and right soon. And in our third story on the Countdown, the new information dovetails perfectly with -- and may lend critical mass to -- tomorrow's senate hearing on creating an independent truth commission... on Bush's counter-terrorism policies.

Worsties...see below.

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD:  Bill-O, Newt Gingrich, Manatee and Lou Holtz vie for tonight's top honors.
 
Every Rose Has its Thorn:   I feel like Charles Van Doren during the Quiz Show Scandal. Yes, it's true: Reality Television Is Scripted! And literally several viewers didn't know that. Thus did this nation awake in unified pain and anger... For the first time, people ranging from Ellen DeGeneres to Elisabeth Hasselbeck, banded together in their collective grief. Our number one story...a nation outraged...by the season finale of "The Bachelor".